


Online Dating of a Different Kind

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Thanksgiving AU, cheesy hallmark movie au, fake dating au, modern au?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: Kinga’s been invited to Forrester Family thanksgiving and needs a date. She posts an ad online, and luckily, Jonah accepts. She quickly finds that her fake boyfriend for the holidays is becoming more than just a fake boyfriend.





	Online Dating of a Different Kind

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a plethora of hallmark movies where people hire a fake boyfriend for the holidays. Hallmark movies are my guilty pleasure.

Kinga was dealing with a predicament. Of course, she was invited to Forrester Family Thanksgiving. And she was expected to go. Her whole family would be there, and she couldn’t just skip out on them. And of course, her relatives would no doubt berate her for not even having a boyfriend yet. 

She was content with not having a boyfriend. She was perfectly happy living the single life, occasionally having one-night flings with people from bars who she never talked to again. Her excuse to her family was always that she was trying to focus more on her career at Gizmonic Institute. 

But this year was going to be different. This year, she had a plan. It might have been terrible, but at that point she was kind of desperate. 

This year, Kinga was going to put an ad out online, looking for a temporary boyfriend to show her family. 

The first offer she had gotten on the ad was the one she accepted. It was a man by the name of Jonah Heston. A name Kinga recognized, only because the guy also worked at Gizmonic and was constantly getting commendations for his work. Hopefully, he wasn’t too much of a dick, and this fake boyfriend thing would just be quick and painless. 

She figured she would probably have to get to know him before she could properly pass him off as her boyfriend, so she invited him to lunch at a mall nearby. And that was where she sat, patiently awaiting whoever Jonah Heston was. As the minutes ticked by, she began to worry. What if he bailed?

“Are you Kinga?” 

Kinga turned around, and was greeted by the most adorable man she had ever seen. His tousled dark hair perfectly framed his excited eyes, set behind a pair of glasses. He must’ve just gotten off work, as he still wore his bright yellow Gizmonic jumpsuit with HESTON plastered on the front. 

Kinga suddenly remembered how to speak. “Uh, Yeah. Sorry, I just didn’t expect you to be so…”

“Not terrible?”

She felt herself turn slightly pink. “Exactly. I had pretty low expectations for an online, impromptu fake boyfriend. No offense.”

Jonah smiled and sat down across from Kinga. “None taken. Why did you even go for the online angle, anyway?”

“All of my guy friends are taken, and all of my other friends are scared of my grandma.”

“Yikes. Should I be worried about her?”

“Nah, she’s all bark and no bite.” She paused. “No, actually, she does have some bite. She’s really snarky, keeps a loaded handgun in her purse, and always attends any family gathering with her two weirdo friends, Bobo and Brain Guy. You don’t have to worry about those two, though. They may be weird, but they’re chill.”

“Brain Guy? Should I even ask how he got that name?” 

“He’s an alien who carried his brain in a bowl. One of the Observers. Oh, and Bobo’s a talking monkey man.”

Jonah raised an eyebrow. “That’s… interesting.”

Kinga sighed. “Enough about my weird family. We should probably learn more about each other before I try to pass you off as my boyfriend. For starters, I’m Kinga Forrester. My favorite colors are purple and green, I have one step-brother, and I also work for Gizmonic.”

“Nice to meet you, Kinga. I’m Jonah, I guess my favorite color is yellow? And my favorite 90’s comedy is Wings.”

“Seriously? I love that show too! Remember that episode where they think Fay is a serial killer?”

“Oh yeah, and they all end up in the kitchen screaming! Television for the ages.”

“It really is, man.” 

Maybe, just maybe, getting to know this Jonah guy would be easier than Kinga thought. 

They decided that, in order to get to know each other even more, they should do the things normal couples do: go out for dates. Strictly platonically, of course. Jonah chose the first date, which was, unsurprisingly, a trip to the science museum. Kinga chose the second date, which consisted of seeing _It_ in theaters. 

By the time the third date rolled around, Kinga was beginning to get worried. She liked this guy too much. He was a perfect gentleman. Kind, funny, an adorable face, and the cute butt didn’t hurt. But she had to remind herself that this was only temporary. After thanksgiving, they would go their separate ways, and most likely never see each other again. Even though it was painful for her to think of that. 

The third date was a surprise date that Jonah came up with. Until they got where they were going, Kinga had no idea what was going to happen. She was a little scared, but also secretly thrilled at the prospect of a surprise date. 

After a car ride that seemed to take an eternity, they finally reached their destination: the ice skating rink. This, however, was not the optimal date place for one major reason. 

“Jonah? I don’t know how to ice skate.”

Jonah smiled excitedly. “I can teach you. It’s just like roller skating.”

“Yeah, except instead of wheels you’re skating on big knives.” 

“Just let me teach you. If you don’t like it, we can leave.”

“Alright. But you have to promise not to let me fall.”

“Cross my heart.”

Upon entering the skating rink, Jonah got the pair of them skates. 

Kinga raised an eyebrow. “How did you manage to guess my shoe size?”

“Worked at a Lady Footlocker during college. I can guess almost everyone’s shoe size from ten feet away.”

“You are just full of surprises, aren’t you.”

“I like to think so.”

Jonah held a hand out, and Kinga stumbled to her feet, adjusting to the balance of the knife shoes. She couldn’t tell if her heart was racing from holding his hand or from the paralyzing fear of falling. 

Slowly, they made their way onto the ice, where Kinga transitioned from clinging onto Jonah’s hand to clinging onto the wall. Her feet slowly began to slide towards the wall as well, and she frantically tried to balance herself out. 

Evidently noticing her struggle, Jonah took her hand again. “Come on. Lean on me, and I can teach you some moves.”

“I’d like to learn how to stand still first.”

“It’s all a matter of not thinking too hard. Just center your weight, stand up straight, and take a deep breath.”

Kinga took his advice, and found herself standing, while still clutching onto his hand for dear life. “Alright. Cool. Got that part down. How do I move?”

“It’s just like rollerblading. Push forward with one foot, glide, then push with the other one.”

“All while managing to keep impeccable balance and not bringing this all crashing down.”

“Well… Yeah. You’re not wrong. Just try not to think about that. Here, I’ll lead, and you can skate along behind me.”

Jonah pushed off, and Kinga attempted to mirror his moves. It took her a minute to find her stride, but once she actually figured out how to do it, it was easy going, and eventually she was able to skate even without holding onto Jonah. However, there was one problem that needed to be addressed as they approached the wall. 

“Jonah? How do I stop?”

“Uh… hope that you slow down enough before you hit the wall?”

“You mean there isn’t a way to stop?”

“I mean, there are ways, but they’re pretty challenging, and even I can’t stop right all the time.”

Kinga crossed her fingers and hoped for the best as she approached the wall. Though she had held her arms out, she was still going too fast, and she collided unceremoniously with the wall. She felt as her feet began to slide out from under her, and she flailed backwards, before being caught by a pair of arms. 

“Hope doesn’t work all the time, apparently.” She said, glancing up at Jonah. 

He helped her get to her feet and laughed hesitantly. “Guess I probably should have taught you how to slow down first. Sorry about that.”

“Not your fault. Besides, I’m actually having fun. Good call on this one, Heston.”

Jonah raised an eyebrow. “Since when are we on last name terms?”

“Relax, it’s a sign of endearment. Now come on, let’s do another lap. I think I’m getting pretty good at this!”

They spent the next hour or so skating around, hanging out and joking around. Kinga realized something, in that time. She realized that she felt so natural around Jonah. She didn’t worry at all about what he thought about her, and she could just be herself. It was a wonderful feeling. Something she had never really felt with anyone else. 

But she feared it would turn out to be nothing. Thanksgiving would come and pass, and all she would be left with would be the memories and a broken heart. She could try to tell him how she felt, yes. But what if he didn’t feel the same? What if he saw their relationship as purely platonic? What if…

“Kinga? Is something wrong?” Jonah asked, interrupting her thoughts. 

“I’m getting kind of chilly now. Do you mind if we go?”

“Sure. And hey, I know this great place to get hot chocolate. We can stop by there after.”

Jonah helped her off the ice, and they finished up their date at a charming little coffee shop just down the road. After that, he drove her home, and she was left wanting more. She wanted to spend more time with him, to hold his hand, to just be able to feel his presence next to her. 

But thanksgiving was next Thursday. She would have to muster up the courage and tell him how she felt. 

——————

Thanksgiving. A holiday widely disliked by many due to a plethora of reasons. A holiday Kinga would now have to spend pretending Jonah was her boyfriend to her family. Which wouldn’t be hard, considering that she wanted him to be her actual boyfriend. But she would have to spill the beans on how she felt some time, and it definitely couldn’t be over dinner. 

This year, thanksgiving was at the house of Kinga’s father, Dr Forrester, and his husband, Frank. They often hosted the holidays, as they had the biggest house in the family and Frank was a damn good cook. Kinga’s step brother Max was staying with the Forresters overnight in order to help prepare the food. Grandma Pearl and her odd squad arrived early, not wanting to miss any food. Kinga made sure that she and Jonah arrived at 3:00pm on the dot, as dinner was being served at 3:30. It would give them a little time to talk, have dinner, and then they could leave. 

The minute Kinga walked in the door, all eyes were on her and Jonah. Immediately, she felt anxious, but she held her head high and continued. 

“Hi everyone!” She said, feigning enthusiasm. “I wanna introduce you all to my boyfriend Jonah.”

Grandma Pearl was, of course, the first member of the family to approach Jonah. She eyed him up and down, seeming to analyze him. Content, she nodded. “So you’re my granddaughter’s boyfriend, huh.”

Jonah nodded. “Yes, ma’am. And you must be Kinga’s grandma Pearl. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All good things, I hope?”

“Yeah, absolutely.”

Pearl laughed. “Don’t bullshit me, kid. I know Kinga thinks I’m a handful. Most of the time she’s right. Just don’t give her any shit, and we won’t have any problems. Alright?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And don’t call me ma’am! Grandma Pearl’s fine.”

Bobo and Brain Guy appeared from behind Pearl. Brain Guy carried his trademark skeptical look, glaring at Jonah in the way one glares at a package of beef you feel may be rotten, but you need to smell to be able to actually tell.

“Hmm.” Brain Guy mused. “Kinga hasn’t told us much about you, Jonah. How do we know you’re not some gold digger who’s only after her for her money?”

Jonah held up his hands. “I assure you, I’m not trying to extort any money from you or do anything else horrible.”

Bobo poked Jonah in the shoulder. “You’re tall. Really tall.”

“Thanks, I think?”

It was time for Kinga to intervene. She stepped in between the two parties and crossed her arms. “Come on, guys. Is this really necessary? It’s thanksgiving.”

Pearl sighed. “But it’s always so much fun to grill your new boyfriends, and it’s been so long since you’ve had one!”

Kinga gave her a side-eyed look. 

“Fine, we’ll stop. For now.”

“Thanks, Grandma.”

They made their way into the dining room, where the table was already set in a festive, fall-like fashion. Dr F had even broken out the fine china, making the whole scene that much more extra. A heavenly smell came from the kitchen, betraying to the whole house that the turkey was done. 

Dr F came into the dining room and beamed. “Kinga! I thought I heard you come in. Traffic ok?”

Kinga hugged her father and nodded. “All things considered, it wasn’t bad. It’s never too bad on the actual day of thanksgiving.”

“That’s good.” He turned to Jonah, who stood awkwardly behind Kinga. “I take it you’re my daughter’s boyfriend, then.”

Jonah nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Wow, so formal. I think we’ll get along swimmingly.”

Jonah raised an eyebrow. “Thanks?”

Frank popped his head into the room. “Clay, honey, would you mind helping me in the kitchen?”

Dr F looked over his shoulder at Frank. “Of course.” He turned back to Jonah. “We’ll talk later. And then the grilling can begin!”

Dr F left, and Kinga sighed. “Phew. They seem to like you. That’s good.”

Jonah glanced through the doorway that Dr F had left through. “Do they? It’s hard to tell. They’re exactly like how you described.”

“Forresters are naturally hard to read. Just take my word for it.”

“You’re not too hard to read.”

“Really? Tell me what I’m thinking right now.”

“You’re thinking that you don’t want to be here.”

Kinga snorted. “Wow. Got it right on the nose.”

“Your family doesn’t seem to notice that we aren’t actually dating, so that’s good.”

Kinga felt a twinge in her stomach. She had almost forgotten that little tidbit. “Oh yeah. That’s good. But if we’re really going to pass this off as real, you’re going to have to do things like put your arm around my shoulder, or laugh at my jokes.”

“That’s easy. I already do that.” 

“Good. Very good.” She paused. “Hey, after dinner’s over, can I talk to you in private?”

“Of course. It’s nothing bad, I hope?” 

“That… depends.”

Frank appeared in the dining room, presenting a large roast turkey on an ornate plate. “Dinner!”

Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy filed into the dining room, with Max coming in behind them. Kings realized she hadn’t introduced Jonah to Max yet, but that could happen over the dinner table. It was time to sit back, relax, and eat like a pig. 

Conversation over dinner was lighthearted and cheery, with the added Forrester charm of an occasional argument, complaint, or drawn-out rant about certain parts of the scientific community. Jonah was a good sport through it all, laughing at the appropriate times and tossing in comments of his own. 

Of course, at the end of dinner, Pearl threw out that age-old question. “So what are you guys’ plans for the future?”

Jonah gave a slightly fearful glance at Kinga, who took it upon herself to answer. “We’re just going to let things unfold, and kind of go along with it. Not like we have to plan everything out beforehand.”

“So what you’re saying is, you have no idea.”

“Yes, we have no idea.”

“Well, are you crazy kids gonna get hitched?”

It was Kinga’s turn to glance at Jonah. He seemed to pick up how the conversation was going. “Maybe. I mean, I’m still paying off student loans, and we would probably want to buy a house or a condo or something. We can think about marriage in the future.”

“The not too distant future, I hope? There hasn’t been a wedding in the Forrester Family since Crow and Tom’s glorified wrestling match.”

“Who knows.” He paused. “How did a wedding end up as a glorified wrestling match?”

“You don’t wanna know.”

Kinga would have to tell him about it later. For now, a crisis had been averted, and she could relax. 

After dinner, Kinga and Max agreed to clean up. Since Jonah was the guest, he didn’t have to help, much to Kinga’s dismay. Kinga agreed to wash the dishes, while Max dried them. 

“I still don’t get why we have to wash these when we have a fully functional dishwasher right over there.” Kinga said, blasting the remains of mashed potatoes and gravy off of a plate.

“Dad said that the China can’t go into the dishwasher. The heat’ll damage it or something.” Max smiled. “I thinks he just wants to get us to do work so he doesn’t have to.”

“Oh, probably.” 

They fell into silence, focusing on the intense job of plate cleaning. Finally, Max cleared his throat. “I know you and Jonah aren’t really dating.”

“Oh, god, really? How can you tell?”

“Because you get really awkward on the subject of marriage. I can tell you like him, though.” 

Kinga sighed. “Yeah, I do. Probably more than I should.”

“Then tell him!”

“I know, I know I should. I was planning on telling him after we left. But how do I even bring it up to him?”

“I have no idea.”

“Wow, thanks for the help, bro.”

“Anytime.”

After they were done cleaning up, they returned to the gathering. Everyone had transferred to the living room, where Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy were having a yelling match over some ruling in the thanksgiving day football game. They literally did that every year. But at least this year they weren’t throwing things. 

Jonah was sitting on the couch as far away from the action as possible, apparently trying to feign interest in the aforementioned argument. He looked relieved when Kinga walked in. 

“Well, we should probably get going.” Kinga said, checking her watch. It was 8:00 by now. Five hours with family is more than enough. 

Pearl paused the tv, briefly interrupting the yelling to hug Kinga. “Alright, sweety. It was good to see you. Keep in touch, now.”

“I always do.” 

Pearl pointed accusingly at Jonah. “You better treat her right, you hear?”

Jonah nodded. “Absolutely.” 

After a few more brief goodbyes, and a little more yelling at the tv, Kinga and Jonah were finally able to escape to the respite of their car. Kinga, in the driver’s seat, hesitated before she turned the car on. 

“Thank you for being such a good sport about this. My family can be a handful.”

“It’s fine. They were funny, anyways. And I think they’re good people.”

“You’re probably right. But it’s always time to leave when Grandma and her gang start yelling at the football game.”

“Yeah, what was that even about?”

“She doesn’t even watch football during the regular season. I think she just likes to argue with people on tv.”

“That’s…”

“Bizarre? Yes, it is.” Kinga paused. “So what do you wanna do now?” 

“I dunno, I guess you could drop me off at home? I mean, there’s not much we can do, considering it is thanksgiving.”

“Good point. I guess I’ll drop you off, then.”

Kinga turned the key in the ignition, and soon, they were off. The rest of the ride was silent, with only the quiet hum of the radio and the car engine breaking the quiet. This whole time, Kinga was thinking of ways she could tell Jonah she was genuinely in love with him. It was the phrasing she was having trouble with. She couldn’t very well tell him ‘I think you’re hot, kiss me before I kiss you myself.’ No, she would have to put it in just the right way, that didn’t make it seem creepy or weird in any way. 

Eventually, they reached Jonah’s house, and they both got out of the car. Jonah faced Kinga, his expression seeming somewhat sad. 

“So this is it, I guess.” He said. “It was really fun, getting to know you, Kinga.”

Kinga felt her mouth turn dry. “It… doesn’t have to be the end. If you want.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” She sighed. “I really like you, Jonah. And, if you want to, I think we should date. For real. Not just to get my family off my back. I wanna spend time with you, Jonah. I… I think I love you.”

Jonah’s expression immediately perked up. He took Kinga’s hand into his own and gently placed a kiss to it. “I think I love you too.”

Kinga gently grabbed onto the collar of Jonah’s shirt and pulled him towards her, kissing him hesitantly on the lips. When he didn’t pull away, she threw away her hesitation, melting into Jonah. He put his arms around her, pulling her even closer to him. 

After they pulled apart, Kinga smiled and laid her head on Jonah’s chest. “God, that felt even better than how I imagined.”

“You imagined kissing me?”

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of it.”

“Anything else you thought of?”

“Well, for starters, going inside. It’s freezing out here. Even if you are practically a human space heater.”

“Alright, let's go inside and I can make you a cup of hot chocolate.”

“Mmm. Now that does sound like a plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am hinting in the beginning there that Kinga is bi. I headcanon a lot of characters as bi, actually. Jonah too.


End file.
